So this. It feels nice to hear I love you everyday again. Sleep next to someone every night. Outside, My lips grin and say I love you back and then again to answer "yes, really", my eyes watch the rise and fall of your chest. My skin feels you pull me in and tightly wrap yourself around me, as if you cant get close enough, both hands inside yours that way we hold hands. My ears hear you tell me how much you missed certain parts of my body that youve still never been more attracted to anyone. Inside, I numb these senses, and keep a distance, I'm trying to protect my healing scars and not have them suddenly ripped back open. I'm operating somewhere between relief, disbelief and what the hell am I doing. Forgiving and forgetting don't come that easily, and Im not sure I've done either.

Completely tied in knots that maybe just need to be rubbed in and worked out.

I have no words. Just a tangle of swirling thoughts, knotting together in my mind and wanting them all to cease.

I had a dream last night that my teeth were rotting out of my mouth. At first they started chipping off in pieces then they would fall out in twos or threes leaving huge gaping holes in my gums. I caught them in my hands and quickly shoved them in my pocket. I gave him an embarrassed gummy grin as I looked back up, realizing it was over, how could he ever love a toothless girl.

THINGS ARE GOOD WHINEY MISERY BLOG THAT I FORGOT ABOUT

SEE YA

i'm in the same exact fucking place i was in last year. but in a colder city, more bored and fed up.

get a clue lamey lula.

thirty-nine

i haven't really felt much like talking lately. i know this isn't abnormal for me but i feel strange. like a stranger. conversations seem like chores and i anxiously wait for them to be over once they begin. i just want to sit and stare blankly, oblivious to things around me. i would say i want things to stop moving, but i know how impossible that is. time goes forwards and almost annoyingly so. boys in basements and boys with houses have my limbs stretched as far as they will go. my eyes hurt. i just want to sit on a couch with a friend, without feeling like i'm gonna have to figure out whats ok or what i want or think about what to say next, i just want to sit together in silence.