Monday, April 20, 2009


i try to not think of this as the closing of a circle, completely pointless, leaving me in the same place as the same time last year and feeling emptier and heavier all at the same time skin soaked in shame and a heart that is fried because if i say that it assumes this year was a waste but this year has actually been quite amazing in all other areas of my life. i have grown and i am growing. i am happy. i just don't know what to do with myself but i am not alone.

today i will send off the last thing i ever do for him. tomorrow is my mother's birthday and i want to get her something special. the day after, i am leaving again for maryland and someday, i will be able to sit still.